EP 244 Book Club Discussion Worthy by Jamie Kern Lima
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[00:00:00] Welcome to the bold goal crusher podcast for anyone looking to stop letting life get in the way and start crushing bold goals. I'm your host, Sara Mayer, and I'm thrilled to navigate this journey with you because it's time to start boldly achieving without working double time. So let's dive in.
Sara Mayer: Hello, Bold Gold Crushers. I'm super excited today. We are going to talk about one of my favorite things, books. And we're talking today about the book Worthy by Jamie Kern Lima. If you haven't read the book, that's okay. Spoiler alert, we will go through the chapters. [00:01:00] And Jamie's done a great job in this book.
Sara Mayer: And one of the things that she has is a 95 page Worthy workbook action plan that goes through the book worthy. So you can do that together with either your book club or while you're reading the book, they go hand in hand. In chapter 1, Jamie talks about how. There's a cultural obsession with achievement, people pleasing and external success, and how that can confuse and fail to foster learning and innate worthiness or truth fulfillment.
Sara Mayer: And so we're going to go through this book guide that book club guide that she's put together. Chapter one really sets the stage for the audience to think about the difference between things that build self confidence versus self worth. and how that has impacted each other's lives. So what it's [00:02:00] really about is stopping to chase the things that we think we need to do and to truly seek out the sense of fulfillment and really defining what that means for you in your life and what you hope it could be in the future.
Sara Mayer: So chapter one breaks down all those cultural obsessions with achievement and what that means. Is supposed to happen in people's lives. And then in chapter 2, this chapter is all about really coming to terms with your relationship with rejection and failure. And many people stop when they have rejection when they're trying to pursue their goals and that relationship with rejection and failure.
Sara Mayer: Once you deal with that and really decide what are the deep rooted issues with your relationship with the rejection and failure, it will change your life. [00:03:00] So 1 of the questions she poses, how has the fear of rejection and failure impacted your life in all areas so far? And are there areas you've played small or held back as a result?
Sara Mayer: And I think it's really interesting to think about in order to move forward, you have to deal with your past. You have to deal with how you handle rejection and failure. And you also have to learn to. Rebound more quickly after those failures. So she does talk about redefining failure and redefining rection, reflection, rejection in your life.
Sara Mayer: And one of the things that Jamie did is she would say to herself, that's okay, they just haven't, they don't have my full vision. They don't know my full worth. And so when somebody, when she was rejected [00:04:00] multiple times, she did reframe how she took that rejection that wasn't meant for her. And there's somebody out there who is meant for her when she was trying to pitch her company to investors.
Sara Mayer: And I think that's really interesting. She tells the story about how. When she was founding it cosmetics, people would say stuff like, we don't think women will buy makeup from you, or we don't think it's good for you to show your face because it's not perfect on TV and those rejections could have stopped her.
Sara Mayer: But because she reframed them of, it's okay, they don't know my full worth, or this opportunity wasn't meant for me. It changed how she felt about rejection. Chapter three is all about believing something to be true about you. And she says when you believe something to be true about you, your brain scans and highlights proof around you that reinforces that belief.
Sara Mayer: So there [00:05:00] may be ways that. In your own life, you are putting out to the universe, this belief, like maybe somebody told you when I, when you were a kid, you're not good at math. And now you're putting that out there into the world as well. And so that belief is really getting deeply rooted with it inside you.
Sara Mayer: And so 1 of the things she. challenges us to do is to experience the power of reframing our uniqueness. Rather than focusing on what we can or can't do, really focusing on how we're unique and how when we do something, even though somebody else may have already done it, it's different because we are doing that as a unique.
Sara Mayer: Chapter four, when has attention from others felt like love, external significance look like success and validation felt like worthiness. And this chapter is all about looking at your past, a past [00:06:00] event where you may be telling yourself the story around it. And that maybe that story disqualifies you from being worthy.
Sara Mayer: Or from tuning into your greatness. So it's really reassigning new meaning to that story. Maybe instead of, I'm not good at math, I haven't learned that yet, or I'm working on becoming good at math, or I really would like to become good at math, and so therefore I have a coach or a helper to help me with that, or an accountant or budgeter or bookkeeper.
Sara Mayer: All right, and then chapter five, she describes two turtles. So two turtles are described, and one is in the background watching full of limiting beliefs, and the other is fully underbelly out, fully basking in the sunshine and fully confident in their body. And she challenges us to really think about which turtle do you most identify with and which would you like to most identify with?
Sara Mayer: And maybe there's a spectrum in [00:07:00] the middle, but really thinking about what are you not doing? Because you need to lose weight. You need to do this. You'll do that. When this happens, I'll be happy. Once I buy a house, I'll be happy. Once I move, I'll be happy. Once I get a promotion. And so what are you doing sitting on?
Sara Mayer: What are you sitting on the sidelines for? And that's really important. And then chapter six, do you often only share how you feel when it's positive? And she does share that toxic positivity is the act of rejecting, suppressing, or avoiding sharing, feeling, or expressing negative emotions. And how has toxic positivity impacted you?
Sara Mayer: So what masks do we put on? What smiles do we put on? What would happen if you took that mask off? And why do you think we hesitate to validate authentic human emotional experiences? And I'm going to tell you, this [00:08:00] episode is being recorded right after Taylor Swift released her new tortures, tortured poets department album.
Sara Mayer: And she talks about how, she can do it even when she's heartbroken and she's making all the marks and she's doing it for the crowd. And I'm not sure that's okay. But that's the society we live in. And so Jamie challenges that in chapter six to really have you think about, are you seeing a bunch of toxic positivity and how do we combat that in chapter six.
Sara Mayer: Wait, sorry. It was scrolling too fast. Chapter seven she talks about really discussing why it's easy for us to ignore our inner voice, even when we know that maybe this isn't the right thing for us. And she knows that. There are creative ways that you can use to listen to your own tuition and to really [00:09:00] hear your own tuition.
Sara Mayer: And I think that takes time and practice. And that's what it's really starting to listen to your own self. And then chapter eight, talking to yourself, many times we get into the, I didn't, I couldn't I wish I could, I should have. And those are the little lies that we tell ourselves that hold us back.
Sara Mayer: Like I'm not good enough to do this. It's not the right time, but those lies are what keep us stuck. So it's about getting unstuck chapter nine. Love this one for the warriors. So she challenges us to describe a time that you ended up worrying about things that never even existed and will never actually happen.
Sara Mayer: And she asks us to look at how that will impact our life. So by reflecting on the following statement, you may realize that you're doing so being misunderstood or not embrace is often better than the [00:10:00] barrier of disconnection that comes with being an authentic. So she challenges us to live our authentic lives rather than hiding behind the.
Sara Mayer: The fake side of us so many chapters, and I'm not going to be able to go through them all, but I think one of the chapters that really hit home with me is chapter 13 and she talks about Ed Milette, and he's great. We actually reviewed one of his books on. The podcast, the power of one more is the name of his book.
Sara Mayer: And he uses a tool called, let me tell you about you to speak truth and self worth into his daughter. So she would tell, he would tell her daughter, let me tell you about you. And would share some positive and empowering truths about her. So I think that's a great way to help others really develop their self worth.
Sara Mayer: And then in chapter 14, Jamie shares the four keys to fulfillment, self worth, [00:11:00] self confidence, growth, and contribution. And she talks about how you may have one area that's lacking or a couple, or you may have some that are really high. And it's really about developing that muscle so that you can truly feel fulfilled.
Sara Mayer: Now, chapter 22 she does a great job of hitting this home that there are really no mistakes in dance class or life or anything like that. It's all a learning lesson. And so it's about really reframing your mind so that when you're developing your sense of worthiness, you are. able to learn from those lessons and you give yourself some grace.
Sara Mayer: And so in conclusion, worthy was a great book. I think this does such a great job of really looking at the inner dialogue and thinking about our worthiness. Not so much of Should we have this thing [00:12:00] or anything like that, but it's about building self worth and self confidence. So I hope that you enjoyed the book as always join us on the book club, sarahmayer.
Sara Mayer: com slash join book club. We'd love to have you on our live discussions every month. All right, bold gold crushers. It's time to get out there and crush your goals and everything that gets in the way.
