Ep. 202 The Power of Pause with Guest Salina Johnson
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Sara Mayer: [00:00:00] Welcome to the bold goal crusher podcast for anyone looking to stop letting life get in the way and start crushing bold goals. I'm your host, Sarah Mayer, and I'm thrilled to navigate this journey with you because it's time to start boldly achieving without working double time. So let's dive in.
Sara Mayer: Hello everyone. I'm super excited about this episode. I'm always excited about episodes, but this is actually a take two episode because my internet went out the first time. This one is going to be so good. I'm very excited to introduce you to my friend, Selena. She's a faith based mindset and movement mentor, a speaker and host of the Spinning Plates podcast.
Sara Mayer: Her mission is to help busy women to be their most productive self and feel freedom from stress [00:01:00] from the power of pause. Pause is a tool developed to navigate overwhelm, prevent burn. Now and create space for living a joyful life, despite the circumstances and challenges we faced. She's a full time operations manager and lives with her husband, Chad of 24 years.
Sara Mayer: Wow. And two boys, Finn, who's 12 and Cole, who's 10 in Washington, where she gets to enjoy the beauty of the. Pacific Northwest every day in her backyard. And we actually met when I was on her podcast, and I've been excited to talk with you today. I'm so excited to have you on the show. Oh,
Salina Johnson: I'm so excited to be here.
Salina Johnson: It's an honor. And I was like, Hoping you would ask me it. So I'm really happy to be here.
Sara Mayer: I just love the name of your podcast spinning plates podcast. I always think of like the person in the restaurant, like trying to make it all [00:02:00] happen. But that's a lot of our lives where we're just trying to keep these plates spinning.
Salina Johnson: Yeah. It's funny because the, what led me to even have a podcast is a whole story, but I just remember like just pushing record, doing it messy. And I remember also taking about one second to name my podcast. I was like, I know exactly what I'm going to call it because that's what we do. And that's what we're all about is just, I always think of a circus act too, right?
Salina Johnson: Like that, just keep it going. Keep it going.
Sara Mayer: Yeah. And it's not that easy. I think, especially for women who tend to take on lots of. Other things outside of, work and then what they're doing in their home. It's not that easy to balance all those plates and keep them moving. So how do we do that?
Salina Johnson: Yeah. That's such a good question. I'm a firm believer that not all the plates should be spinning at the exact same time. So I really love to lean into what season are you in really, what are your [00:03:00] priorities right now? For example, my podcast is something that I love and I'm passionate about and it serves my community and it serves me and it fills my cup and all those things.
Salina Johnson: But there are seasons when my work is requiring a little more of me. Or my family needs me and that those are my priority. And although I love spinning plates podcasts and it fills my cup so much, there are moments when I'm like, this is maybe the plate that I can just set aside for a minute and just set it down and come back to it in three weeks or whatever the thing may be.
Salina Johnson: And of course, because that's the case. It's the thinking ahead part of the process where it's I know I'm going to have to probably batch some stuff because there's going to be those seasons in life that I am going to have to set that, that one down for a minute. So that's just an example.
Salina Johnson: And we all have, we can all we can name the plates, like we all know what our plates are. And so I think it's really having that awareness and the understanding of really where you break. That will help [00:04:00] you understand like what plates to spin at what time. So we call it spinning plates podcast, but.
Salina Johnson: Really it's choosing your plates podcast is what I should call it, baby.
Sara Mayer: Yeah. And I love that you say they don't all need to spin at the same time. I think so many people have heard this concept of work life balance and. And that's never really achievable. Can you really have all the plates spinning at the same time?
Sara Mayer: No. And I love that you talk about the seasons and the change from, knowing what you need at that moment and making sure that the plates that you actually have in your life are the ones that You should have in your life. Yeah.
Salina Johnson: Yeah. And I think there's something that we do. I know for me personally, that I used to have this concept that at some point you just have it running smooth, like you do all these things and you're striving and at some point it just falls into place and that's then you live your life and this is, we do this weird thing where we see other people and we're [00:05:00] thinking, oh, they have it all figured out.
Salina Johnson: I'm just here to say none of us have it figured out. All of us are growing. If we're not continually leaning into a growth mindset we're not doing it right. That's just all there is to it. We won't be done until the day we leave this planet. And so if we can just stop the perfectionism and stop trying to be all things to all people and stop trying to strive and achieve, we can maybe take a step back and realize that, oh, those moments are going to come. I am going to have moments of overwhelm. I can't stop the 10 extra emails that came in that minute or, my child breaking a limb or those are the things that we can't, we don't have control over, but we do have control over is what do we, what is our priority right now?
Salina Johnson: What needs are and deserves our time. And how do we respond in the moment? And I think sometimes response in that moment is. Not trying to run ahead and figure it all out or to get back to a mode of having it under [00:06:00] control. It's really about leaning into just knowing, okay, this is a moment that I need to, I just need to address and I need to figure out what's going on here.
Salina Johnson: And that it's not, I guess what I'm saying is it could be every day. You can have a day of overwhelm. It's not, that's not going to go away. How you react to it. Is what you have control over and I think that changed everything for me when I started realizing that I don't. I don't have to have it figured out like it was really a big weight lifted, I think.
Sara Mayer: Yeah. I think that's really the important thing to remember is that we're all figuring it out. I love that you brought up the growth mindset. I was on TikTok and I saw this lady. She's 80. She said her age. And she said, I'm always learning. I'm currently learning how to play the guitar. I've always wanted to learn.
Sara Mayer: And you brought up we don't ever just stop doing Oh. Sorry, I turned 80 now. I'm not doing anything anymore. I'm not learning anything anymore. And that growth mindset really [00:07:00] can allow us to experience and be creative and explore and be curious
Salina Johnson: throughout our whole life. Oh, my gosh. My grandma is 88.
Salina Johnson: And I think that's the thing that I respect and love. So much about her is she's continually opening herself up to knowing and she'll say that she's I'm not done. There's always something. And I think that there's like a talking about overwhelm and spinning the plates and stuff.
Salina Johnson: I think. We always need to have the growth mindset, but there are going to be times when you're leaning hard into the growth. Like you're, reading all the things and listening to all the things. And there's also going to be times when growth is just being with yourself and like just realizing where you're at.
Salina Johnson: I I think that again, I'm lifting this veil of that we have to have it all figured out, that we have to be leaning hard into growth all the time. And. Every single day, we're going to learn something new. I, really a big shift for me in the workplace was I started.
Salina Johnson: Entering rooms, thinking rooms, [00:08:00] whether it be virtual or whatever, but I just started entering conversations and moments thinking I I used to just think I've, I really got this figured out. I know what needs to happen here. I was very bossy. I'm operations manager, right? So this is it. This is what needs to happen.
Salina Johnson: And I really started to step back and. Like really check my ego at the door and think, what can I learn in this conversation? Not what am I going to add to this conversation, but what is it that I'm going to learn? And I don't have it figured out. So I, it's really awesome. Like when you start to do that, I don't know. It gets more exciting because you're looking for those nuggets of something new that you can pick up. And I think that's really what keeps us alive and keeps us joyful. Yeah,
Sara Mayer: I think that's a great perspective of entering the room. What can I learn? We both are, I'm a former operations director.
Sara Mayer: So many times when I would think I had it all figured out, I really didn't. And one of the biggest lessons I learned was how did we get here? [00:09:00] Oh, I love that. And people would say this is how we do this. And I'm like, okay, how did we get here? And that question was like so and so sent me this spreadsheet and this was the easiest way for me to get it in my format.
Sara Mayer: And then I always loved, I learned this from my boss, but he said, what would it be like If you could recreate the process and people would say this would be automated or this, I wouldn't need to, for
Salina Johnson: sure. Wouldn't do this or yeah.
Sara Mayer: And they always had the solution and it was great. It was a great way to be curious and yes.
Sara Mayer: And here, how we got there because sometimes. A little tweak would change a lot of different
Salina Johnson: things. Yeah. And I heard a podcast a long time ago that had said something and, when just just probably no one else heard it in that podcast, but for me it like clicked and it's always stuck, which is that we really to go in with the idea of experimenting.
Salina Johnson: So that's part of my pause process at the end is also as you move [00:10:00] forward after you've taken a moment of pause, which we can talk about, but is this idea of and I'm going to a science experiment. I'm going to, I, I have a picture of what I think I'd like this to look like, but I'm also going to some, try some things on and be open to the fact that might not have been the right answer and shift as needed.
Salina Johnson: And I think that what we're saying here is just that, yeah, what can we change? What can we try? I, I think about like morning routine, like if it's not working for you, if you don't even have one what is something you can do that's going to help you with your morning routine or whatever the thing is.
Salina Johnson: There's always something we can change, you
Sara Mayer: know, you brought up the power of pause and we are heading into the holidays. So burnout is in the air, but also this feeling of finishing strong and then this desire for a lot of people to enjoy the holidays and make things magical. That's a lot in the season, a lot going on, even as you're
Salina Johnson: describing it, my, my anxiety [00:11:00] level goes up.
Salina Johnson: Yeah.
You
Sara Mayer: know, there's just so many things. And I think for many people, the holidays are magical and fun and sometimes stressful. And then afterwards. It may feel like, Oh, I need a break now because I just went through a lot in six to eight weeks. So how, I know you use this power of pause process and how would that maybe help with the current
Salina Johnson: question?
Salina Johnson: Yeah, good question. So I'll describe the power of pause and how it came about, which is I've been going through this process of my own and little did I know I was developing a tool just by necessity through my own issues with overwhelm and anxiety and burnout and just finding those moments where we become.
Salina Johnson: Kind of overcome with with the moment with whatever's happening. We can all probably put ourselves in that position very quickly because we've all felt it, which is you've got, this list going and then somebody needs this. And [00:12:00] then you get a phone call. You weren't expecting.
Salina Johnson: And then, you still have the laundry that needs to be flipped. And and there's still the laundry that needs to be folded in the other room. And you do this bucket system and it's not putting it in separate buckets. You're putting everything in 1 bucket. So you. Okay. Your anxiety level goes up.
Salina Johnson: I know for me I know my indicators, which is the first step is understanding where you're at in the moment is my indicators are my chest will get tight. I'll start to get snippy with people. I will find myself in the pantry wandering around having no idea what I'm actually in there for.
Salina Johnson: I'm just hungry. Like I have all these triggers that I know. It's me going into a state of overwhelm and burnout. And I think that's the first step. And I was finding myself getting through this process, which I'll describe. And I just was for me. It was just for me. It was something I was doing.
Salina Johnson: And this new year came and the word pause just kept literally. With everything you're looking at, this word keeps coming up and I thought, I guess that's my word for the year. I had another one, but I think I'm [00:13:00] leaning into this one. And then as I was just meditating out for myself and thinking about what is this word pause for me?
Salina Johnson: Why does it keep coming up? It was just like, God just gave me like this, like laundry list of this is your process. This is what you do. And it all came together. And then it was very exciting for me to feel like I could pay that forward and share it. And it's been very organic, but I just love that.
Salina Johnson: I can label it now for people and describe to them. So pause is really an acronym, which is easy, which I love those. Cause it helps me or cross stick, I guess they call it. It helps me remember. So P is for pause. So literally taking a breath. And I go through this process when I speak of.
Salina Johnson: Assessing where you're at today and just stopping literally pausing for a minute. Like, when you get to that state of overwhelm, running ahead is not more productive. Figuring some things out before you move on is I always say pause before proceeding just take a minute.
Salina Johnson: And so I really walked through and, meditation has been huge for me in the pandemic. I learned how to do that [00:14:00] properly. And there's no proper way. I learned how to stop the kind of box breathing, just taking some moments. And there's a lot within that pause process of whatever it looks like for you, maybe you're journaling.
Salina Johnson: And I really love that it can be in like a 30 second time period, or I could pause for a day on it. Like I don't have to necessarily proceed on everything right away. So I would do this at my desk. I would take take a deep breath or walk outside, get fresh air. I don't know about you, but when I would take like a five minute walk, I already feel better.
Salina Johnson: So just whatever pause looks like for you. And I. Thank you. Love sharing with people that pausing can have movement. So for me, working out is a form of pausing and moving my body and all the things. So that's P. A is agency. So it's what do you have control over? What really? Do you have control over?
Salina Johnson: I believe you have areas of control your reaction, your response, your attitude, what email you send, whatever the thing is, but you have control and there's [00:15:00] a whole bunch that you have influence over. So you can make suggestions or make an impact with just your own example, but you don't necessarily have control over it.
Salina Johnson: And then you also have the area you just. You can't. What is that area? That's other people's responses. Other people's actions. You don't have control over it. You need to shift your perspective to what you can really move the needle on for yourself and not worry about everyone else and not trying to pull them into the process with you.
Salina Johnson: But what can you change in this moment? That's A, agency. And then U is do you want me to keep going? Are you good? Yeah. Okay. Spitting out a lot, but I wanted to as we continued, I think it'll help. So you is for understanding what's next. And for me, that's a brain dump exercise.
Salina Johnson: That's the best thing for me is when I am feeling overwhelmed, I've taken this moment to breathe. I've reminded myself of what I really have control over. I need to brain dump. I have too much happening between the ears and it's all feeling like a lot. [00:16:00] And with that brain dump exercise, understanding what's next is really I do this process, which I'm sure you've done a similar process, which is do drop delegate.
Salina Johnson: What do I really need to do? No, 1 can work out for me. That's the thing I have to take care of. That's something I have to feed myself. I literally go eat lunch. Nobody can do that for me. And whatever else is on the list that I have, it is responsible for me to do drop is exactly that in this moment of overwhelm in the season.
Salina Johnson: What's that spinning plate that we can set aside? Do I really need to worry about the laundry today? Is that the thing that's going to put me over the edge? It's probably not worth me going to an asylum. It's probably can be set aside for a minute. But we all have those things. We have those things that go from our list from day to day to day, and I encourage people if it's made it to your list for 3 weeks, it's probably a want and not really in this season.
Salina Johnson: Something you need to do. And then delegate is exactly that. And I think delegate has a negative [00:17:00] connotation. I think a lot of people think that's. Putting your work off onto others. You and I are going to totally line up on this. I know
Sara Mayer: people will say it's dumping.
Salina Johnson: Yes. And I think when you were on my my podcast, I feel like we talked about delegation, but
Sara Mayer: yeah, I like to give opportunities to others.
Sara Mayer: That's exactly what sometimes you don't know, what they are looking to learn and the thing that you're like, Oh, I really don't doing it is something they are so excited about.
Salina Johnson: Yes. And you're taking that opportunity away from them and not serving yourself. So you're keeping it on your list because you think that's what you should do.
Salina Johnson: This is, I can't give this to anyone else, whatever, but I have found the best opportunities for me to empower others around me, whether it be my children, whether it be my husband, whether it be somebody at work. Is through that moment of Hey, I'm overwhelmed. I really need this done. Is there any way you, you could do this?
Salina Johnson: Instant cart is a form of delegation. Like we don't need to overthink this. Delegating [00:18:00] doesn't mean you have to have a big download with the person, but like maybe you have, if laundry is the thing that's really going to put you over the edge and bugging you, and it's obviously not on your do lists and you feel real weird about dropping it, maybe you have your kids help with laundry that day.
Salina Johnson: They don't do it every day maybe. And that's like a thing you can have them help with. So I think it's going to be unique for each person. And we're using a lot of examples here, but really understanding what's next is. Is really key before you can move forward because you do have to dissect it a bit and you can do that.
Salina Johnson: And sometimes you can do it in a minute. You don't even this doesn't have to be a big process. It's okay, what in this exact moment. Is the thing I have to do right now and that's okay, right? And then S is very key to which is set expectations. And I believe that with all of this, you can pause and you can do this whole process and remember when you give yourself a pep talk I'm not responsible for other people's feelings.
Salina Johnson: You do your list. But if you're not [00:19:00] being clear about what your plan is moving forward, people aren't in your. Head, they don't know what's going on. So it could be as simple as, hey, I need a minute. I'm going to step away. That could be the expectation you're setting, or it could be these 5 things are due.
Salina Johnson: Maybe ask your manager hey, I saw this come over and I really, I want to do it. Can I turn it into you on Monday? By the end of the day, like. People are okay. They're fine. They just want to know you got the email or you're doing the thing and you have a plan. They just want to know you have a plan and that takes such a weight off because you're not now.
Salina Johnson: I think when I've seen people, especially in the workplace, overwhelmed is there. They've got this whole story in their head of what people are expecting and this list and they got the email. So they can't do anything till they do it. They answer that. And it's just communication. So it's taking a minute to it.
Salina Johnson: To chat with the person, maybe that you had that project due and you're feeling overwhelmed today. So you're going to do it tomorrow or whatever the thing is. So [00:20:00] setting expectations and also with yourself. So if you're saying in this moment, it's really important for me to go move my body. Or it's important for me to go eat lunch keep that appointment with yourself because it's.
Salina Johnson: It is it is important for you to act like you are also important in the process that's so pivotal is to understand that those things on your understand what's next. And if it's related to you they shouldn't be at the bottom. They're probably the thing that's going to serve everyone around you.
Salina Johnson: So set those expectations with yourself and others. Be clear. And then E is energy and experiment. So they're 2. I added on energy because I just can't not. It's as I've gone through this process, I'm like, it really is the thing. So energy is when you come into the overwhelmed state. And you're starting this pause process, and you've gone through this again, I've done it in 1 whole minute.
Salina Johnson: I can go from beginning to end of this process. It's totally doable, but when you get to the end of it, don't leave. [00:21:00] The situation don't leave that moment of pause the same way you came in. So the energy you come back out with should be renewed and it should be revigorate reinvigorated. It should be something that really does serve yourself and those around you.
Salina Johnson: And that's all about mindset. Reminding yourself that you are 1 person. This is a season that you are going to come back at it in this moment. Get the priority list done. Maybe come back and pause and do it all over again when you get that priority item done. Just to have it a renewed energy throughout the process that you don't have it figured out and it's okay.
Salina Johnson: Like you're, it's fine. That's okay. And experiment is what I talked about earlier, which is just not being perfectionistic in, in, I think we do this weird thing where we're like, okay, I've paused now and I've taken a minute and I'm better and I'm all better. And then you go right back and you, your inbox is the same as it was when you left.
Salina Johnson: That's not changed. Playing around with it and not make, not taking it so serious, right? Experimenting a
Sara Mayer: little bit. I absolutely love this [00:22:00] framework for many reasons, but one of the biggest reasons is it gives us permission to actually pause. It gives us permission to rethink the situation we're in and come out different, better.
Sara Mayer: I don't know what the word is, but with a new, I know what the word is with a new energy. Yeah. What we're working around. Exactly. Yeah. And I think so many times people get caught up in that hustle culture, like the finish strong. I have to finish strong. I have to do all these things for my kids and I, I.
Sara Mayer: I don't know why elf on the shelf came up in my mind, I have to do the elf on the shelf. I need to move it every night and it needs to be creative and fishing and doing all this stuff. When in reality your kids just want time with you. They just want your attention.
Salina Johnson: That's right. I have to say, that's so funny that you said that.
Salina Johnson: So this is such a good [00:23:00] example. And it's funny because it was headed into the New Year, which is when this all came. So it all makes sense to me now. But Elf on the Shelf has been in our house. We've had Elf on the Shelf. And last year oh, it's going to be emotional thinking about it. But I remember feeling that, what you were just saying, which is This pressure and this, I guess expectation that nobody put on me like that was not a thing society, put it on us.
Salina Johnson: But I last year I had our elf, right? A letter to the kids saying goodbye and saying you know what I've, I've had so much fun with your family and I'm going to go and I'm not coming back. And it was a poem and it was a whole thing and it was all cute and everything like that.
Salina Johnson: But I, I needed that. And I think that's where we have that. I had control over that. I was like. I don't, my kids don't even look for it barely anymore. I'm running around trying to do these things. My husband and I are getting creative every morning. That was fun trying to figure things out last minute, but I think that we are in control of [00:24:00] our lives.
Salina Johnson: Nobody else gets to do it for us. And I don't really care if Elf is in our house anymore. It's, it was a season and it was beautiful, but it's not right for us now. And that's okay. And like you said, permission, right? Yeah. If anyone hears anything from us today is like you, you're the one in control and I can tell you none of my circumstances changed from a few years ago, but yet everything's changed.
Salina Johnson: And I know it's because I've learned this piece of mindset where it's, I get to I get to call the shots and I get to figure out how I want to handle things. Not what's coming at me. But how I want to move forward. So the holidays are important part of that. I think to answer your question originally, how pause plays a part as I think that's exactly what I would encourage people are in those moments when you're feeling the pressure and the stress.
Salina Johnson: Just do this process, do a pause, take 10 minutes in your closet without anyone around or whatever that looks like, and just take a deep breath [00:25:00] and just. Understand what you have control over, make your list, figure out what you really need to do. Set clear expectations for yourself and then go back at it with a renewed energy.
Salina Johnson: You're going to have so much more fun during the holidays if whatever the thing is, the tradition that you think you have to do because your kids maybe talk to them. Do you like, do you guys like it when we
Salina Johnson: do this, you guys figure out a new tradition together and not make it, I don't know, so hard. We do it to ourselves. It's awful. It's awful.
Yeah.
Sara Mayer: Yeah. It's really interesting. I don't have by, I didn't raise biological children, but I did have two foster daughters who came to me when they were teens.
Sara Mayer: And I remember, with my cousins and stuff, we always wanted jobs. Like we were all about jobs and sometimes as parents that the clients that I've worked with who have young kids, they don't realize the power of [00:26:00] giving kids a job. Like one of my clients kids was like, you don't like to take out the trash.
Sara Mayer: I love it. Oh my
Salina Johnson: God. What? That's amazing.
Sara Mayer: He's that could be my job. And for her, it was always a thing. And then she taught him to put the bag back in. And it was always a sticking point with her and her husband, like, why is there still trash in here? You can clearly see that it needs to go out. And why didn't you put the bag in?
Sara Mayer: And then they gave this job to a 10 year old. He thinks that's the greatest thing ever. Now he does now want to be a garbage man. He'll grow out of that. I love that. I love that. Maybe he'll be the best garbage man ever. But I think that sometimes we... Going back to that delegation, even though that wasn't really delegated, we don't realize the joy that we could give to others.
Sara Mayer: That, that was the greatest Thursday of that kid's life. That's so amazing.[00:27:00]
Salina Johnson: And I think as you were saying it, I was like, I was asking myself like, why? Why is that? That we missed those opportunities. And I'll be honest. I know for me, it was like, I just need to get it done. I don't have time for this training process, or like whatever the thing is. And I think it comes down to picture. Like I have in my, I had in my mind, like this picture of what. Clutter would look like, or decluttered would look like, or a picture of what Christmas would look like, and it'd be all perfect. And, I know that we have the Christmas tree and ornaments is a great example.
Salina Johnson: Like, how often are we doing the ornaments ourselves because we want them to be. On the tree picture. Perfect. We have control over that picture in our mind. What if the ornaments are all on one side? And that's the fun part of your family tradition is that your kids are putting the ornaments on themselves and that you're not moving them mom and dad, and I think that we miss those opportunities.
Salina Johnson: Cause we're so in I just need this to look the way I want it to look and do it the way I want it to do it. And it happens in the workplace too. We just, I'm just going to do it [00:28:00] myself. Cause it's easier. But in the long run, you just the result is burnout. That's the result is you're trying to do it all.
Salina Johnson: And you're just putting so much extra pressure on yourself. And honestly, this life is way too short. And nobody cares. Nobody cares about the ornaments, five years later. That's not the thing. That is one thing I do too. When I'm doing the understand what's next list, that is a, I just thought of that.
Salina Johnson: I do five minutes, five months and five years. So will this thing matter? 5 minutes from now, 5 months from now, or 5 years from now. So laundry is a great example I come back to as a, an easy one, because we all have it. 5 years from now, I'm not going to remember that day that I didn't do the laundry.
Salina Johnson: It's not going to affect me. 5 months from now, I'm not going to. It's like a 5 minute thing. That can get moved for a minute. It's not going to be the thing that affects me down the road. What are those issues that are going to have longer lasting impact than others? Yeah,
Sara Mayer: I think that's a great question to ask, five years from now, is this going to matter?
Sara Mayer: And I [00:29:00] think about not to keep harping on the holiday tree, but Hey, it's coming. My biggest fight, the biggest fights in my family were my, when my mom was fighting with my dad over the way the lights were done. And we just. As soon as the tree came out, we scattered because we're stressed, right?
Salina Johnson: You're like, we don't want to be around for this for my kids.
Sara Mayer: So I don't remember where the ornaments were, but I do know if the lights weren't perfect, it was not a good day.
Salina Johnson: No. Oh my
Sara Mayer: gosh. And in reality. Did that really matter? No, but I'm still talking about
Salina Johnson: it. It ended up mattering. The thing that probably wouldn't have mattered back then ended up being right, like in your mind for a while.
Salina Johnson: And I, it's funny for us as my boys have gotten older too. Funny enough, I actually do all the decorations and they don't like, they don't really have a real strong desire to put all the ornaments on the tree. But what we've learned is because I've been able to change this picture in my [00:30:00] mind, cause I used to have this picture of Norman Rockwell, we're all around the tree, putting up.
Salina Johnson: Ornaments and it's this whole festivity that we do and it's really turned into I turn on white Christmas. I'm putting the ornaments on and then they just check it. My husband included. They just come down and they'll grab an ornament, put it on and then they go off and do their thing. And because I've been able to control that picture in my mind and change an experiment.
Salina Johnson: I have so much more fun now. It's turned into like mom's decoration time and the boys when they come check in, I can enjoy that moment so much more because I'm not stressed out about where they're putting it. And I don't know, it's just fun to look back and realize like the things that were really weighing on me, I've been able to let go of.
Salina Johnson: So I guess I just like to give hope to anyone who feels like they're in that state of overwhelm. There's ways you can do it and it will change. It'll change if you change.
Sara Mayer: And I encourage everyone to take that pause, whether you think you need it or not, especially around the, as we head into the holidays and the end of the year, so that you can be intentional about [00:31:00] the magic you want to create and the season that you want to have rather than jumping from thing to thing and really think about,
Salina Johnson: about that.
Salina Johnson: Yeah, I love that too. And I think that again, I know I've said it a couple of times, but I just really want to stress Sometimes I have to pause a few times a day, like it, there, let's remove the stigma that the issues are all going to go away. They're not, they're going to be there, but you feel so much better when you have control over your response and your reaction.
Salina Johnson: And I think just going back to the very beginning of what we talked about with it is just having that mindfulness of, when you're going down the path and you're starting to feel, like I said, I start to get a little shorter. Shorter fuse with people and I start to get like my tone changes and pay attention to that.
Salina Johnson: That moment is the moment that you can go pause. And what it does is that the result is you're not regretting conversations that you've had in that moment. And we're not the best when we're in that space. We are in fight or flight. That's what's happening. So when your anxiety goes up and you start to feel [00:32:00] overwhelmed.
Salina Johnson: You, traditionally we were like afraid a lion was coming at us, but we don't have that anymore. So we have the same internal response, but yet there's not really something we're fighting. And so taking that moment to. To identify Ooh I'm not really in a good head space at the moment.
Salina Johnson: I need to pause for a minute and then come back at it and it's just more fun.
Sara Mayer: Yeah. And then I think it allows you to really to finish the year strong if that's what you're looking for or finish out the quarter and really get focused. I like that in pause, there's the understanding what's next.
Sara Mayer: And you talked about maybe some of the things that aren't next that just need to go. Mhm. And. When we have so many plates that we're trying to keep going, many times it's hard to really focus on the one plate that truly should be spinning the
Salina Johnson: fastest. So true. Yeah, quality, right? We're, I love the phrase less is more.
Salina Johnson: Like sometimes. Just [00:33:00] two or three. It's same thing with goals. Like when you go into the new year, guys, don't have two or three goals for every area of your life. Don't do it to yourself. You're just gonna get stressed out and burnt out by week two of the new year. But really pick two or three things for throughout the year you want to work on.
Salina Johnson: And my gosh, if we could grow in two areas each year or how think about our lifetime. That's amazing. So yeah, we don't have to try to figure it all out. This isn't the year. You have to figure it
Sara Mayer: all out. Yeah. There's a great book. I don't know if you've ever read it. The gap in the gain.
Sara Mayer: Have you ever read this book? I've heard of it. I haven't
Salina Johnson: read it though.
Sara Mayer: It's a must read. I love it. It's a must read. And. One of the things they talk about in the book is there's the gap and we tend to measure ourselves by what we didn't do instead of what we actually gained. And they use this great example just really quickly about this teacher who was like teaching a child who wouldn't even walk in the grass, wouldn't touch grass.
Sara Mayer: And the [00:34:00] parents are like she's not doing this. She's not doing that. And she's not doing that. And she's wait a minute, a year ago, this kid would not even touch the grass. And now she's playing on the playground with other kids. Like we have made so many gains, but we're so focused on the gap. Oh,
Salina Johnson: my gosh.
Salina Johnson: Yeah. I love something I started doing at the beginning of the pandemic. It was all of us were in such a space. And I realized that I was listing all the things I didn't get done that day. And so I flipped it and I started sharing like on social media stuff to like, just the things that got done that day.
Salina Johnson: And I think if we just did that 1 simple act. We'd feel so much better about you guys are getting so much stuff done every day, yes, there are things on the list that hang out and stuff, but you, my gosh, just getting up and brushing your teeth is an accomplishment. Do it.
Sara Mayer: If we did all the things I shared this on social media once, if we did all the things that were recommended, like brush your teeth, floss your teeth, like every single thing, eat one apple a day, [00:35:00] all the stuff, we would never do anything. No,
Salina Johnson: not sustainable but we can make our bed and we can't, just, I would encourage everyone for the next couple of days, just start making lists of what you did get done and you're going to, you are doing amazing things.
Sara Mayer: Yeah. Yeah, cool. I just love this conversation.
Sara Mayer: I love your process of the power of pause. I'm going to implement that because it's so needed, especially all the time, but especially around the holiday time. Now, if somebody is listening to this episode and they're like, Oh my gosh, I need to connect with her. How can they connect with you? What might they expect if they were to work with you?
Sara Mayer: Yeah. Yeah.
Salina Johnson: Good question. The easiest is Instagram. I, this is where I spend most of my time and I am under at, I can't talk at mrs. selena. johnson. So I'm sure you'll put that in the show notes. But yeah, so you'd go connect with me there being my DMS. I really love that. [00:36:00] I talk about this stuff.
Salina Johnson: All the time. So if you just want like nuggets I, oh, I, I sing every morning in my kitchen. So if you just need a little joy bump in the first thing in the morning, I'm there for you. Yeah it's what I love to talk about and yeah, as far as working with me, so I also, I help people with nutrition, mindset, workouts and yeah, I've got groups starting every month and happy to talk to anyone about, Joining us I my group is called fit for joy.
Salina Johnson: So that's what I go by. And I just love, I love plugging real. Busy women into activities that will help them serve those around them. My heart.
Sara Mayer: I love that. So definitely connect and then also check out the spinning plates podcast. Absolutely.
Salina Johnson: For sure. Yes.
Sara Mayer: Yeah. Thank you
Sara Mayer: So much for being on the show.
Sara Mayer: I always love chatting with you and I know that we will have some collaborations coming up in the future. I
Salina Johnson: know my wheels are spinning already.
Sara Mayer: Yeah, of course. Thanks. All right. [00:37:00] Thanks everyone for tuning in. Remember it's time to crush your goals and everything that gets in the way. You do not need to work double time.
Sara Mayer: So let's get to it.
Sara Mayer: Thank you for tuning into the bold goal crusher podcast where we crush goals and everything that gets in the way. I always love to support my community.
Sara Mayer: I look forward to seeing you crush your goals this year.
