Ep 147. Cultivating a "Why not me?" Mindset with Guest Amanda Walker
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[00:00:00] Welcome to the Bold Goal Crusher Podcast. For anyone looking to stop letting life get in the way and start crushing bold goals. I'm your host, Sara Mayer, and I'm thrilled to navigate this journey with you because it's time to start boldly achieving without working double time. So let's dive in.
Sara Mayer: Hello, bold goal crushers. I am super excited for this episode of the podcast. I think you are really going to enjoy the conversation with Amanda, my guest today. So Amanda is a certified master performance coach who helps service-based entrepreneurs. Reach their full potential. And Amanda is a true coaches coach and is passionate about helping coaches and online service-based business owners get their clients [00:01:00] massive results in order to grow a profitable coaching practice.
She is the host of the Best Damn Coach podcast. And runs the premier coaching program for coaches. Best damn coach, Amanda, I'm so excited to talk with you today cuz I know our listeners are gonna gain so much from you.
Amanda Walker: Aw, thank you. I'm so grateful to be with you today and yeah, I'm just excited to share.
Anything I possibly can to help someone else be better. So
Sara Mayer: yeah. And I would like to start off with your story cuz you shared with me that you were a teacher and you were making what, like $623? Was that a week or what was that? That was
Amanda Walker: every other week, just to general. Oh my goodness. And I'll say in, in teaching world, that was like, Not completely full-time.
When by the time I left, that was what we called three fifth. So it was basically thir three quarters of the day. But yeah, [00:02:00] it was pretty disheartening at the time when I was getting those paychecks what am I doing? Yeah.
Sara Mayer: And then,
Amanda Walker: where are you today? Yeah. So I went through just to even take a back step through that.
Yeah. My first job ever was as a coach, I was hired on with the local Y M C A to coach basketball. So I had peewee basketball, like five and six year olds, which was definitely like herding cats. Yeah. But I learned at that moment that there was something inside me that was just like a of service.
Yeah. And, Even to be able to like work with little Bo, they were all boys at the time. And to see able to give them feedback and teach them something and then to see them celebrate their potential and their results was very electrifying to me. And I think that was just, yeah, domino that led, my entire life to teaching and coaching in some capacity.
So I ultimately, Dropped out of pre-med in college, decided to go to grad school and get my degree in coaching and teaching. And then I taught for 10 years and I thought I was like, destined for that profession for forever [00:03:00] until I just felt like this kind of restlessness inside of me once I taught that was like, there's definitely more here.
I didn't really have the answers but I just felt like I was just scratching the surface of my potential and that felt achy and restless. Yeah. Ah, and I think I'm sure many of your listeners can Can just relate to that feeling. And so we had our second child and at that point, my husband was on the SWAT team.
I was working days, he was working nights so that we didn't have to pay for childcare. The kids could be in our full, and with us full-time. And one of those last paychecks I ever remember getting I, I'd like to still get like the physical paycheck where you could like yeah.
Pull the perforated edges and I peeled it back and. It was like $623. I remember that specific amount. And that was for two weeks worth of teaching. And that was after, of course, deductions and all the things that I was paying for. But I remember just like making that decision of this is not where, we're not gonna stay here.
Like we've, we have too much in inside of [00:04:00] us to be living this way. And so took a year sabbatical. Thinking that if I wanted to come back I would be, I would have a job and then literally stumbled into entrepreneurship and began growing my practice from the ground up. No. As a teacher, we don't have marketing experience, we don't have sales.
I, I'd never worked anything that required me to sell anything. Yeah. The kids just
Sara Mayer: show
Amanda Walker: up. Yeah, they just show up. You don't have to go find client leads anywhere. Yeah. They're forced to their, your room, whether they like it or not. But the one thing I did always have was An understanding of human behavior.
And a belief in people before they often believe in themselves. And that lend itself, really well to coaching. And so I'd had my own health transformation. I'd been a fitness and health junkie pretty much my whole life, but I. I had several miscarriages, late-term miscarriages, and trying to get pregnant, and I found myself in a body I like, didn't even I didn't recognize.
And so through my own journey, I just became passionate about serving others. And so we grew that business to a, a multi seven figure [00:05:00] place. And I loved it. And I love health and fitness, but what I really love realized was that I wanna teach other coaches and service space leaders how to take.
Results and be great at coaching and serving your people and use that as a strategy to grow their business. So it wasn't reliant on Facebook ads or weird marketing tactics. But it was really like, how do we lead with the servant's heart and take those results and multiply them so it attracts more of the same?
And so that's what I do today. I work with coaches, service-based leaders, helping them just be really amazing at the art of coaching. It's. My belief that everybody's a coach, even if you don't identify with those terms, as business owners we're coaching in some capacity. And yeah.
That's what I've stumbled in today and I love
Sara Mayer: your story. I think there are a lot of teachers out there that love everything they're doing about teaching and wish they could truly make more money doing that. But I love your story how you were like, okay, this isn't where we're going to [00:06:00] be.
Like we're not gonna stay here. We're going to. We're gonna move into something else, and you use that love of teaching and coaching to build your new business.
Amanda Walker: Yeah, I think obviously aligned with your mission and the title of your podcast. I think that was a misconception around goals that I had for the majority of my life is, I am a high achiever. I like, I'll do whatever it takes. I'm a hard worker, I'm gonna get the a, I'm gonna get the a hundred percent, I'm gonna be the best. And so I feel like I spent a lot of my life setting goals and then chasing the actual goal. And while I did. Achieve them. I think I did it in like a muscling through kind of way.
Yeah. And what I've realized through entrepreneurship is that. Like goal setting is never about the actual goal, right? Yeah. Goal setting is about who we have to embody and who we have to become in order to have the thing. Yeah. And entrepreneurship, I think is a gift for [00:07:00] so many people to really like.
Adopt that belief like the woman already making and running a multi seven figure business. I've never been there, right at that. I've never even been a person not working for somebody else. And so I think a lot of the times we wanna set goals and immediately our brain freaks out and is but I don't know how, and I.
And my client's you're not supposed to. The fun becomes in asking yourself, but if I already did have this thing, right? If I did already leave my corporate job, then how would I behave? What would I do? What are the behaviors I'd have to adopt to have that thing? And I think that has become such a freeing part of goals is it's not attaining the thing.
It's Literally changing your identity in the process and just seeing who you can become over time. And now I look back at teaching and it was like, wow, that moment was so pivotal into finding that deeper understanding.
Sara Mayer: Whenever we set those goals that are really big and I [00:08:00] like to call 'em bold goals, they, there usually is that gap of where you are now and where you need to be.
And I like to call this. Unfortunately, quitters Valley. Yeah, because that's the place where people will quit because if it's truly a bold goal, it shouldn't be easy and there should be a gap and there should be, as you mentioned, a transformation. And the reality is that most of the things we're trying to create, honestly, unless you're inventing something re revolutionary, somebody else has done.
So there are people out there that can help you, that can coach you, that can provide you that roadmap. And, but that's the reason a lot of people quit, as you mentioned, that the, they get in their head and they're like I don't know how to do that. So I'll go back to doing this over here. That's really comfortable that I'm successful at and maybe not happy with, but at least I'm not in that [00:09:00] discomfort zone.
Yeah, and
Amanda Walker: I'd even add, that's why many people don't even start is yeah. Cause they think other people like had a blueprint laid out for them when they set a goal. And that's not the case either.
Sara Mayer: No. They wandered around in the desert, we're in Arizona, so they wandered around in the desert without water finding scorpions and Yeah.
Yeah. Then figured it out. It's
Amanda Walker: true. It's very true. Yeah.
Sara Mayer: So how did you find the courage to make that change? You're married, like you went to your spouse and said, I, I don't want to keep getting this paycheck. Like, how did that go?
Amanda Walker: It was literally an ordinary morning, and when I speak, it's part of my keynote.
Often, it was like an ordinary morning and I. Remember, like he was scheduled to end his shift at 1:00 AM but often they were held over like for a hostage situation or some, extreme situation. And I was due out the door by about 6:30 AM and there was often mornings this one in particular that I remember where was like, I had a new [00:10:00] baby, essentially a two year old, and I'm trying to do all the things as a mom.
I've got A nursing child, another one who wants like cartoons in the morning, and I'm trying to dress myself in this like body, and I just felt like it was like the hamster wheel that so many people, feel, and I could hear the jiggling of the door as he's walking in. We're literally like, Quick kiss, high five piece like ships passing in the early morning.
And I remember just pulling out of the driveway and it was almost like from a movie slow, it was like slow motion. And I'm just seeing all of like my life pass me by feeling like there is no way. And that was the day that. I came home and I told him like, we're not doing this anymore. He could go work half a day of overtime to make up for my paycheck.
So I knew we would figure something out. I did not have the answer at that moment. Whatsoever. But there is this piece to me like going back, like I was an athlete my whole life and I remember it was like junior year I played basketball [00:11:00] and I promise this story is relevant. Yeah. I was a basketball player and I was fortunate to be like the main contributor of the team, and we were leading close to state finals and we were in a game against our competitor.
Super heated, probably very egoic. But I decided I was gonna step in front of their like leading player, leading score and take a charge. And if you're not familiar with basketball, that's like you stand in front of somebody that's coming at you full speed, you crash to the floor in hopes that the foul will be on them and the change of possession will happen and totally took the charge.
I did get called in my favor, but the consequence was I totally busted my wrist and broke my wrist in the middle of the game. And it was devastating for me. Cuz here we are headed to the, like state we were a contender. We were like slated to be top four and I end up having to be in a cast and it's my right hand, which is my shooting hand.
And so I have you know when you're a teenager and that's like your thing, like the world feels [00:12:00] like it's ended at that point. I'm still going to practice, obviously to cheer on my team and fill in what roles I can. But about like within the first week we're starting practice and I see my coach coming like from across the gym and he's screaming my last name, which was Martin at the time, like Martin.
Martin come here and he's like waving around this like book and I can't really tell what it is. And so I go over yeah, what's up coach? And he's like waving the book in my face and he's you can play. And I'm like, whatcha talking about? He's the rules say you can play with a cast as long as it is not used as a weapon.
I'm like, he's we just have to bubble wrap it. And I am thinking like all these limiting beliefs flood in, right? Because anytime there's a goal set Yeah. That we think we can achieve, we have these beliefs that come in and surface, right? That's the fastest way to know your limitations is to do something or think about something scary.
And I was like, of course. Like no way I can shoot with my left hand that well. What are my teammates gonna think? Because [00:13:00] somebody just took my spot and they're pretty excited about it. And I'm gonna come back and take like a ca play in a cast. With your bubble wrap. Yeah, with my bubble wrap.
And I remember at that point, like this was the internal dialogue eventually that came up as he was talking. And I was like, why not? Me, like, why not me be the one to say yes to that? Like, why not me be willing to put myself in an uncomfortable situation and do something other people would not be willing to do?
And so I said yes. And fast forward, I end up scoring like the game-winning free throws with my non-dominant hand. We go on like into the quarter finals we lost, but. I think that learning for me was really important because it set the courage and the tone for a lot of the rest of my life because I think sometimes we can easily fall into this place and I still do it of oh, that's just for more intelligent people or stronger people, or people that have more connections or people that are [00:14:00] willing, like they're just like more risk takers.
I think we can easily set foot into that, and that limits us and limits the courage it takes to do scary things in our lives. And that little piece has been a, something I've pulled along with me of my journey of like, why not me? Like why is that for everyone else? And it's not for me.
Yeah. But that's why say, I'm like, I'm not a unicorn. It's just like, why not me?
Sara Mayer: Yeah. I love that and I love in your story when you're talking about like that the ships passing in the night, you didn't have it all figured out, but you had the confidence to know that you would figure it out.
Amanda Walker: Yeah I don't know if you've ever read the book, which I always recommend to people Happy Pocket, full of Money.
Have you ever read that book?
Sara Mayer: No. I need to
Amanda Walker: add that to my list. Add it to your list. It's fantastic. It's a very interesting blend of money, mindset, and spirituality, and woo. Religion. But there was a [00:15:00] line that stood out for me and I share it and say it over and over. And that is the fastest way to increase your results is to increase your certainty.
Sara Mayer: The fastest way to increase your results is to increase your certainty. Yes.
Amanda Walker: And for me, it's I see this in my clients that I work with all the time, is we wanna out strategy ourself and think oh, it's the strategy we need to change. And it's no, you just have to believe with certainty in your offer, in your mission, in your why, in your purpose.
In your faith, like whatever the case is. Because a question I'll ask my coaches sometimes is do you believe in it enough that you would spend a thousand dollars a week on Facebook ads to it? And they're like I'm like, okay, then you're not there. Yeah. We wanna get you there.
Yeah. And I think that's the place where we neglect sometimes. And that's actually like the most important part of business.
Sara Mayer: Yeah. Yeah. And how do you help people get there though?
Amanda Walker: So there, there's a formula that's actually research [00:16:00] base that I love to remind clients of, and that is that confidence.
If you remember like science class, confidence equals self-belief times evidence. So on the reactance side the things that we mix together would be self-belief and evidence. And on the product side, the equals is confidence. And Where a lot of people, I think fall short is they get in a pattern in their life of collecting evidence against their results or not even collecting evidence.
Sara Mayer: I tried that once. Yeah. Didn't work.
Amanda Walker: Yeah, and I'm like, tell me more. It didn't
Sara Mayer: work. My uncle Bob lost his business in 20 2008, so probably can't do that. Yeah.
Amanda Walker: Or even like more subtle is they ha host a workshop for the first time and their evidence is only two people showed up. Instead of two amazing people showed up, right?
Yeah. We de sensitized ourself in this world because if you think about 10 people only viewed my stuff. I'm like, imagine if you were in a room with 10 people, you'd be [00:17:00] freaking so excited, right? Yeah. 10 pieces we're live with you. And so I think step one is just really looking at what are the tactics and the tangible ways that we go out and we collect evidence for ourself, whether that's an album on your phone where every time.
You do something or you post something or a client sends you a message, you're like screenshotting it all and you create this pocket album, or it's a pin board, or it's just something as easy as inner dialogue like, reframing like I just offered of, it's not only two people, it's two people or Right.
Because as we increase the evidence, and so comes more confidence, and increase in belief. And that's just like a tangible way, right? There's a lot more tools. Yeah. I would use to teach someone, but that formula is really important.
Sara Mayer: I love that idea of an album on your phone.
At my last corporate job, I had an email box that was like, Really exciting emails and I would go in there and reread it oh, you really helped me today. Or, because of you, I was able to get [00:18:00] a promotion. All that stuff. But I think sometimes it's so easy to overlook those things because there's so many other things coming at you.
So I love the idea of having an album on your phone or a board on your wall or something like that to remind. People of all the reasons why they truly have the ability to do great things and make an impact.
Amanda Walker: Yeah. And I think even a step beyond that is those things. And also be repurposed publicly which is part of the methodology that I teach inside.
The best damn coach is those are what I call informal testimonials. And in this day and age in business, this is what people really wanna see. Yeah. The canned, pretty looking formal testimonials all the time, but gimme a real world snapshot or screenshot of somebody who unsolicited said your coaching impacted them, or your podcast impacted them, or whatever it is.
And store it in the highlights, right on your phone or shared it in an [00:19:00] email or put it on your website, because those are the things that really say she's legit, she's coaching real humans. She's not asking for this. And it really, I think, builds that, that trust and that authority. Yeah.
Sara Mayer: At your business. Yeah. And I would also add, tell it like a story. Like it's so much better to be, like, I work with a lot of operations people, but even ops people, you can get 'em on a story if I'm like, oh, we converted 50% of the leads. They're like, what? But when I tell the story of we converted 50% of the leads that person was gonna.
Throw away cuz they said they've already worked them. That's a way better testimonial than we converted 50% of the leads.
Amanda Walker: I agree. I love to help my people create case studies. Yep. Before the ring, the after, so we get this clear picture of what really
Sara Mayer: happened. Yeah. And I wanna go back to your idea or your comment about transformation because.
I think so many times, [00:20:00] back to the two people were on a webinar. I remember the first time I did a webinar and had five people and mine was
Amanda Walker: one, so
Sara Mayer: I Oh, okay. There you go. I totally get it. Yeah. But I think so many times, now I've had hundreds on webinar calls and I think so many times we forget where we came from and the journey that we've been on to get to where we're at.
That transformation, where you set the goal and we make the transformation and we achieve the goal, and then it's like onto the next goal. How do you celebrate those goals and really cherish that transformation that takes place?
Amanda Walker: Yeah. This is, I'm there with you. I think this is challenging too, when you have high achievers and you're, onto the next thing consistently.
It's had been a place like I've had to coach myself a lot. Yeah. I think a tangible practice, while it might feel cliche, is like spending time in that celebration every single day and not just [00:21:00] waiting for large milestones. So for me, like a non-negotiable part of my day is how I spend my morning and it's it's in readings, it's in books, it's in, if you have faith practice but be really being present with what's happening every single day. And journaling for me is like a huge piece, but sometimes it's something like as subtle as. Wednesdays and Thursdays are my client facing days.
So I coach all day Wednesdays and Thursdays, and there's a lot that happens during that day. Like it's an emotional rollercoaster at times. Doing a lot of the work that I, that comes with this but like just closing my office door and just taking a hot minute to celebrate the impact and the lives that you get to touch.
People trust you with a lot when you're a service-based business. And it doesn't matter if you're working operations, like you get way more than just operations. It doesn't matter if you're cutting hair. Yeah. You get way more than just cutting hair. And so I think it's trying to create these small pockets where those celebrations are a regular part of who you are and [00:22:00] what you do.
And instead of waiting for the large milestones to be hit consistently too.
Sara Mayer: Yeah. And I think it's building that into your daily life. Not waiting, like you mentioned, not waiting for, oh, I achieved that goal. It's, here's the little steps that I was able to make. And I don't wanna harp on those two people, but can you imagine if those two people heard you say I only had two people show up.
Absolutely focus on the people who did show up, and you would be very grateful to have 10 or two people. But I think it's easy as high achievers and women to set goals and be like, I wanna have 50 people, and then when two show up to be disappointed. So how do you help people handle that disappointment when they don't achieve their goals?
Amanda Walker: I think two things come to mind actually, as you say this. I think it's important first to recognize that we have parts inside of us. We have the part that's disappointed and we have this [00:23:00] because it drives us to do better. Yeah. It drives us to where hopefully the analytical cap and collect data.
And then we have this part, this contradictory part that's also okay, you did it like two people. Yay. You should be proud. Yeah. And so whenever this is happening, and this is something I coach on all the time, is like understand that these parts actually want the greater purpose.
They want your best interest in mind. Yeah. And that's important to just recognize we're always gonna have that contrast and celebration and also dis discouraged feelings that can come. But I do think a really impart important part is, Like looking at your own personal expectations versus reality curves.
Because this is where, to your point, you said it's something about like quitters
Alley.
Sara Mayer: Quitters
Amanda Walker: Valley. Yeah. Oh, quitters Valley. That's what it was. Quitters Valley. I call the gap between what we think should happen ex, the expectations versus the reality. I call that gap. The land of the lost.
And the reason being is, I had a client, for instance, she [00:24:00] is amazing, and she held her first workshop and she had something like, I think 40 people sign up, which I was on. Oh wow. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, like you, you crushed it. And then she ended up having something like 23 show up and then she had three conversions while on webinar.
Yeah. I get a Voxer from her and she's ah. I'm like, how'd it go? She's you know what? I'm just so disappointed it didn't go well and I had this many people, like only sign up. And so I got just at first, like the three. And I was like whoa. Pump the brakes, let can I get all of the numbers?
Let's look at all of the numbers. And then she gave me that feedback. Something like 40 live over 20, conversion was three. And so then I had to do the math. I'm like, you had an over 50% show up rate, which if you don't know this, that's a really great number. That's huge. Average show up. 25% maybe. I don't know.
I feel like it's even dropping in this current market. I don't know. 25 to [00:25:00] 35%. So Mike, you're already almost double average. And then if we do the math three out of that 22 or 23 is something like probably 15%. I don't know what that, or 12% just doing the math in my brain right now. Average conversion is like three to 5%.
Yeah. So she really tripled that and doubled that. And so I share all that. To go back and say is that sometimes disappointment is based on feeling instead of disappointment being on data. And I think it's important that when you're a business owner, you can't. You can't any longer live the belief that you're not a numbers person.
Yeah, successful people understand their numbers and understand how to get their emotion out of the way. So if she would've hung out there, she would've been like, oh, I suck. And instead we're like, you crushed the averages. Like how do we do more of this now? Yeah. Like you're doing a lot of things now we just need to get the attending signup number to 80.
Cuz that means you're gonna have. 45 and then you're gonna have six to eight conversions. And so I think it's really important to just take a look at them. [00:26:00] Yeah,
Sara Mayer: and I love that idea of really making it numbers based because. Then you can take that disappointment a little bit down and know what your numbers are like.
I wish I had a spreadsheet. Maybe I could recreate this. But I wish I had a spreadsheet of like when I first started, what my numbers really were. Me too. Because then I could celebrate that all day long. Yeah. I just love this conversation about. Changing the way we think about what we're currently doing, our mindset to ensure that we truly are able to carry on through what I call Quitters Valley.
And you call the land of the lost. So if somebody is oh my gosh, this Amanda, she's totally speaking my language, how would they work with you and maybe what could they
Amanda Walker: expect? Yeah, absolutely. If you are a coach or someone that would identify as a mentor guide, then the best damn coach is a great place to come join.
Other impactful. [00:27:00] Practitioners doing amazing work and we work on the art of coaching and also the skill of entrepreneurship. Cuz I think to be a great coach, you definitely need both. And so they can find information on that program, which is evergreen enrollment is at amanda hyphen walker.com/best samco.
That's just a community of just really amazing people doing cool work. And then the other way I love to serve people is through v i p experiences. And so that could look like a one day in-person or virtual experience where we are doing amazing work together in a shorter window of time in one day and we can literally build a business from the ground up and or, really recreate or develop offering suites or build out coaching frameworks.
Really whatever is in somebody's vision, we can bring it to life. And those are some of the ways right now that I love working with clients.
Sara Mayer: I love it. And I love that idea of having a v i p day where you really get that customized. Example for what you're trying to build in your [00:28:00] business.
Yes. I think that
Amanda Walker: hoodies, there's lots of surprises, even if it's virtual. So yeah, it's really fun and you can head on over to my website and just book a call to talk more about that. Or Instagram's also a great place to connect to. Cool. And my handle there is a walk my way.
Sara Mayer: A walk my way. I love that too.
Awesome.
Amanda Walker: Oh, he came up with that. Yes, he did. Long ago I wish I would've just called myself. Name in the beginning, but you Less lessons learned.
Sara Mayer: Yeah. Cool. I love that. Amanda, it's been a great chat and I know that many of our listeners are out there thinking about where they want to be in life for the future, and I think you truly have dropped some really great nuggets on how to change where you're currently at and become what you wish to be.
Amanda Walker: Thank you. It's been a blast. I love your questions and I feel like we're so close. We have to meet for coffee or something and meet. Oh, definitely.
Sara Mayer: Yes. So [00:29:00] for those of you listening, she's very close to where I live and we definitely need to meet up. I think it'd be great. Awesome. Thank you for having me.
Awesome. All right. Bold goal crushers. It's time to get out there and crush your goals and everything gets that. Gets in the way without working double time because life is more than checking email, so let's get to it.
Thank you for tuning into the Bold Goal Crusher podcast, where we crush goals and everything that gets in the way. I look forward to seeing you crush your goals this year.
