EP 272 Book Club Review Episode "On Our Best Behavior": The Societal Costs of Enforced Goodness on Women by Elise Loehnen

Introduction

Hello, Bold Goal Crushers! Today, I'm excited to bring you an in-depth review of a compelling and thought-provoking book titled "On Our Best Behavior: The Societal Costs of Enforced Goodness on Women" by Elise Loehnen. As someone deeply passionate about the obstacles that prevent us from achieving our goals, this book feels like a perfect companion to our mission.  

A Deep Dive into Enforced Goodness

Our latest book club read delves into the societal expectations placed upon women, dissecting how these norms are designed to keep us "in line" through the manipulation of the seven deadly sins: pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth. Elise Loehnen's argument is bold, making it an ideal subject for the Bold Goal Crusher podcast. 

A Radical Exploration of Gender Roles

This book isn't just about anecdotal evidence; it's filled with data and historical context that examine how these ancient ideas have been weaponized against women. Loehnen deftly explores how pride, greed, and the other deadly sins have been culturally manipulated to limit women's potential and force them into roles that suppress their true, authentic selves. 

Case Studies: Pride and Envy

For example, pride is often seen as arrogance in women. We're taught to downplay our achievements and be humble, which Loehnen argues is a form of suppression. Women aren't allowed to be proud of their accomplishments without facing societal backlash. She also delves into envy, explaining how this emotion is used to pit women against each other rather than allowing them to unite in their ambitions. This kind of ingrained competitive mindset fosters self-doubt and division among women. 

The Societal Cost

Loehnen doesn't stop at individual experiences; she extends her analysis to the societal costs of enforced goodness. Women are frequently socialized to be self-sacrificing, often to their own detriment. Loehnen uses 'sloth' to illustrate how women are conditioned to always be busy, never allowing themselves to rest. This "burnout culture" disproportionately affects women, who are conditioned to believe that relaxation is a form of laziness. 

Redefining Wrath and Anger

Anger is another emotion scrutinized in the book. Women expressing anger are labeled as hysterical or unreasonable, a tactic used to silence them. By reframing wrath as inherently negative, society discourages women from standing up for themselves or others. Loehnen makes a compelling case for the constructive expression of anger as a tool for change. 

A Pathway for Breaking Free

One of the book's most enlightening aspects is its proposed solutions for breaking free from these constraints. Loehnen emphasizes self-awareness and the importance of reclaiming one's narrative. She challenges women to redefine what it means to be "good" on their own terms, encouraging them to embrace so-called "sins" like gluttony and lust as pathways to fuller lives. 

A Collective Effort

Importantly, Loehnen stresses that fixing these issues isn't just a women's problem; it's a societal issue. Men too are confined by these narrow definitions of virtue versus vice. Overcoming these ingrained narratives requires a collective effort to foster environments where everyone can express their full range of human emotions without fear of judgment. 

Conclusion: A Call to Action

"On Our Best Behavior" offers a fresh perspective on the impact of historical and cultural norms on women. It challenges us to question these long-standing narratives and to create a more inclusive way of being. If you’re looking for a book that digs deep into the roots of societal expectations and offers real pathways for personal freedom, this is a must-read. 

Thank you for tuning in, and I encourage all of you to join our book club for more enriching discussions. Our next book is "The Billion Dollar Brand Club," followed by "The Hidden Potential: The Science of Achieving Greater Things," and "The Successful Speaker." Visit sarahmayer.com/joinbookclub for all the details. 

Until next time, keep reading, stay bold, and continue crushing your goals! 

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